My Soul Healing Journey
I was stripped of everything in 2015 – a devastating deadly tornado destroyed our home. Earlier that year after having lived a horrible abusive past life filled with physical as well as verbal violence, mental abuse, rape , near death all caught up with me no more running, I came face to face with my pain. I had to deal with my deep emotional soul wounds. There was no more running. I had attempted suicide, had a brush with death. My earlier childhood and younger years were filled with Trauma
That very same year earlier in May 2015, I’d spent 2 weeks as an inpatient at a rehabilitation center to deal with my pain. We had a routine there to meet groups of women each morning. Each did gather and speak their stories under the deep pain, shame, guilt and anger. I saw Women who had just had their wrists slit and had received stitches, sutured, some with visible battered faces, cut lips, open cuts to their flesh. Others had come off the streets where they worked in prostitution and their partners had beat them in jealous drunk rages. Some were dealing with multiple illicit drugs addictions. All these women masked deep buried pain. All were transferred from the emergency hospital rooms to this mental rehabilitation center. Women of all cultures became family. I noticed that I touched many lives by just being compassionate, listening, without judgment. I wanted to hear their stories. I was sought after and became popular not knowing this would grow to be a calling in my life. I had a great gift that I could speak to women without judgment. I could validate their feelings because I had lived in multiple fits of abuse. I could resonate with them at a deeper level of understanding.
Then an amazing intervention came one sunny day while in the facility garden a sweet inner calmness overcame me. We were allowed 15 minute walks in the lush green garden. I was trying to understand all that was happening when suddenly I felt a warmth thru my body caressed me as if when somebody hugs you and loves you. And a thought whispered to my mind and my heart I heard this inner voice saying “this journey has ended. I will lift you and I will heal you so that you can go out and heal others.” It was divine intervention. That day I embarked on my initial journey one of deep transformation from brokenness to breakthrough!
Restoration had begun, it would be then that my therapist Renee Austin would later introduce me thru therapy sessions to greater faith, I began to have new hope and perspective. I could connect with the women at the Center on a deep level. Women at the treatment center were all there to deal with pain as I was. We all felt connected thru group therapy and then psychologists. We met with doctors of psychiatry and psychology to deal with all our deep dark soul wounds. We became family. Broken women coming together bonding thru hope. After I was released I would never be the same, I had been touched by a divine source.
Looking back another hard blow our real estate careers took a deep dive in 2008. We would eventually file for bankruptcy. We lost nearly all finances during the 2008 great real estate recession. As a part of my Real Estate Career was wiped out since 2002, we had a life that revolved around material things, Money, Trips, Wild Shopping Sprees, parties and alcohol addiction. I had attempted to mask my pain buried deep underneath with material possessions, yet those deep dark soul wounds festered and were deeply infected, with anger, bitterness, rage, hatred towards my perpetrators etc. All the negative emotions that I had buried well deep in my soul. I had been hurting others, I had passed on a price tag too high because my family, my sons, as well as my husband, dealt with my inner demons thru my anger, rage, etc. I felt an emptiness and void. I had passed on a debt with a high price tag to the ones I loved to my family and society. I was a woman filled with anger and fury which impeded me to live a life of joy, peace and happiness.
That was until 2016, my husband and I began to seek a Church. It was after visiting several Churches that I came to one that received me. It was a Pastoral family of 3 generations with a traditional loving family. They had women’s prayer groups and meetings where I was invited. They made me feel like a family I had never had. One became a Mother to me. We would fellowship each Sunday and go to eat. I had been taken under their wing. The elder women parishioners who built me up with unconditional love in its purest form, prayers and hugs. Each Sunday, I wanted to be present to receive this newfound faith with a newfound family. I was empowered by many spiritual Mothers. My life began a process of change deep transformation and healing, redemption and restoration.
It is why today I am more empowered than ever. I rose from ashes to beauty to pursue my higher calling to help women living under oppression to meet them and walk them thru their pain as if when you hold their hand to cross a bridge that somehow they had lost their path and I helped transition them and walk them to another bright side of healing, redemption and restoration. My husband and I continue to work towards an equal partnership. My husband is learning to heal from his own inner wounds and unhealthy learned behaviors.
This is my calling Nikki is a Mother to all the oppressed Women, together we can make a difference.
Join Me Nikki in my journey to fight for Women’s Rights.
Author Nikki Navarro