What are the effects of a Narcissistic mother on their daughters? When you imagine a
picturesque mother-daughter relationship, what do you see? What comes to mind ?
Ask yourself did Mom consistently see you as a threat, gaslight you, or treat you as an
extension of herself while growing up?
I speak from personal experience and my journey with my own bio Mom
Do any of these qualities resonate?
a lack of empathy
a lack of insight on how their behaviors affect others
be jealous of you or compete with you
compare you with your siblings and peers, or favor them over you taking sides
treat you as an extension of herself
become infuriated at any perceived threat to her superiority
gaslight, invalidate, or guilt-trip you
violate or push your boundaries until you become angry
play favorites among you and your siblings
expect credit and praise for raising you.. in ex I raised you etc
regularly change the topic of discussion toward herself
put you down to help herself feel better
I became a people-pleaser
I developed people-pleasing tendencies from constantly striving to meet the
needs of my Mother as a child and well all thru adulthood
For me it translated into becoming someone who always wanted to cater
other people’s needs, even if I did not owe them anything.
I constantly neglected my own needs in relationships this weighed heavily on me
Feeling as a burden to them or becoming needy and co dependant
Even though you may feel like a bother, know that you deserve to be
supported and cared for — by yourself and others this is something healthy
in all relationships.
Avoiding or chasing the love I lacked all my life since birth and experiencing
neglect, abuse, or emotional absence came with having
a mother with narcissistic tendencies . It can make you question whether or not you’re
safe in interpersonal relationships. This ultimately impacts how you navigate love and connect
with others throughout life.
“Insecure attachments tend to take up the form of either avoidant attachment.
I managed many fears by shutting people out of my life and was never able to understand why the or anxious attachment/s
Chasing after love and pursuing the connections I dearly longed for, I ended up
Making wrong choices in choosing my intimate partners.
Desiring constant validation, I’d opened up to emotional and other types of abuse. growing up feeling unworthy to my own mother resulted in a
need for regular validation in my interpersonal relationships.
“When I’d finally found partners who wanted to be with me , I’d pursue the need
constantly asking them for validation and reassurance
and unconsciously i see today i doubted whether I was good enough enough for them often neglecting my own inner child.
Displaying narcissistic tendencies:
I’d find myself picking up up mother’s narcissistic tendencies — consciously or not as i see it today
“I tried to be better than mother — by ensuring that i was smarter i , in reality I was
the smarter only back then i did not see myself as valuable when Mom was around i’d feel anxious as in here
we go again,” does this sound familiar?
Our childhood impacts our overall health, especially if we had adverse experiences
that went unhealed.
Potential conditions you might develop as a result of childhood trauma, like growing
up with a mother who behaved in narcissistic manner could include one or more
of the following traits.
Please seek help if you feel that you may have identified with any of these traits,
Healing is a lifelong journey but rest assured we can heal and move forward in
Emotionally safe environments.
Seeking a qualified therapist or Dr can help you identify whether you feel a
Parent or partner or any person who you were/are in a relationship with was ever
Toxic allowing you to find your own identity and be happy. We deserve happiness
All my best ,