Pain, Abuse, Suffering, Rejection Shame, and Guilt

or that my life was never fair , they are talking about Nikki, which is I. At age 3 ½-4 1/2, I was enduring sexual abuse at the hands of my stepfather, and watching my mother likewise beat, abused by my stepfather. At age 13, I ran away with a man who was a wife beater, a psychopath who beat, raped, sodomized, and bartered with his aunt, who had formulated a plan to abduct me into Mexico for a mere $500. I had been tricked. I was taken across the border by his aunt, where we met at a restaurant, and she left the table and excused herself, and said she’d be back, she was going to go shop for something. She never came back. She left me with my husband there, and his Mom.

I attempted to run through a plaza, and I screamed, I yelled. I was desperate. No one, Truly no one did anything about it. Then my husband came up from the back, and he had a pocket knife. He placed it on my ribs and said, “Walk to the left,” where a black car was waiting with black tinted windows, and his mother was inside the car. We would drive ultimately into Mexico for two hours, and there I was kept in captivity for almost one year. Ultimately, I would escape my abuser, being his own mom who would bring me back, after a female doctor threatened that she would accuse my husband of having me against my will in a foreign country.

At Age 16 i was pregnant with my firstborn baby

I began having extramarital affairs, seeking love. At age 19, I married a man. He carried his own baggage and machismo traits, learned behaviors like control. He emotionally abused me. I became trapped, as my husband controlled all finances. I gave all my power and identity to this man. Yes he would provide
But it came at a cost I had become subservient to him. I loved too much I was co-dependent and trapped
Both mentally and emotionally in this relationship it was exhausting and so very painful.

Stay tuned this is a gripping powerful story book will be on pre order soon!

A child holding a child, struggling to hold a baby when i was a baby myself



license and my insurance

license in 2003

taking me to a higher career path. Having a sixth grade education only, I managed to begin working as a real estate professional and I learned the business, In 2005 I obtained another license in the insurance business but I was always working behind the scenes .My third husband would control me, and I had not recognized the subtle abuse I isolated myself and my husband was never a social person. I spent a good part of my
Life catering to his every need we became very co dependant on each other. Very much the dark soul feeding
Off my beautiful energy. I never knew how to set healthy boundries I gave too much I loved too much.